Only the Breast

Breastfeeding is something that most people do not understand. Unless you are a mother who has tried or has breastfed her child(ren) you can't really "get it." The dedication, the time, the loss of sleep (moreso than just the waking up with the baby), the dedicating your body to your baby for more than just the 10ish months you're pregnant, the struggling, the pain, the sore nipples, the cramps, the sheer exhaustion and mental distress that comes with it those first few weeks, etc...the list goes on and on and on!

Another aspect of breastfeeding to think about are the moms who want to breastfeed but can't for a variety of reasons. Some of them accept it and are totally ok with it, but many moms who want to and can't feel like they are failing their babies. This of course isn't true, but it's a very valid feeling to have. If I hadn't been able to breastfeed Penelope I would've felt like the worst mother on the planet, and how awful I must be to not be able to feed her naturally and blah blah blah. I would've had PPD MUCH MUCH worse if I hadn't been able to breastfeed her, and I know that in my heart. So these feelings are completely valid and normal.

So, what does a mother who wants to give her baby breast milk but can't breastfeed do? Well, my friend B showed me this website where moms can go on and sell their breast milk to other moms. It's called Only the Breast. Their are numerous ads on their from moms who want to sell their breast milk, and prices range from $.40 an ounce to $2.75-$3.50 an ounce, from what I've seen just browsing.

Ok, so do the math, a newborn typically can eat 1-3 ounces a feeding, every 2ish hours a day for the first few weeks, then the # of ounces will go up as the baby gets bigger of course. It averages out to about 12-36 ounces a day at first. So that could cost you from $4.80 (12 ounces at $.40/ounce) to $108 (36 ounces at $3/ounce) a day. So obviously, buying breast milk could be quite costly. It just depends.

There are also milk banks that you can buy from, but those are almost always $3 an ounce at least because the milk that's donated is regulated and certified by the bank in that the mothers who donate have to:

• "be non-smokers
• not regularly consume any medication (including mega-vitamins)
• not consume excluded medications or alcohol within the specified exclusion period

Milk is transported to the milk bank frozen. The milk from several donors is pooled after thawing, and then heat-treated to kill any bacteria or viruses. The milk is processed and then refrozen. It is only dispensed after a sample is cultured and shows no bacteria growth. Milk is shipped frozen by overnight express to hospitals and to individual recipients at home.

The milk is dispensed by physician prescription or by hospital purchase order only. There is a processing fee charged to cover the expense of collecting, pasteurizing and dispensing the milk." -from http://www.hmbana.org/index/faq#what-

So yes, you'd be getting the best possible breast milk for your baby, but you'd be paying quite a bit for it. So it mostly comes down to how strongly you feel you want to give your child breast milk over formula, and if you can afford the expensive cost of buying donor milk. I wish that I could have donated my milk, but my body just produced enough for Penelope, we hardly ever had extra frozen, and if we did, it was a really good day and I felt like a million bucks just to get those few extra ounces out for her so that if I did need to go somewhere without her for a few hours, I knew that she'd be ok. I read a lot about women who over-produce their milk and can donate and honestly, I was so jealous! I would LOVE to have been able to donate my milk to hospitals to help babies in desperate need of those extra antibodies and goodness that only breast milk has. Maybe next time around my body will go into overdrive.

As far as how much formula costs, it depends on which brand you buy. We use the Target brand, Up & Up, for Penelope, because honestly, it's cheaper and Penelope will actually drink it. We tried the Enfamil and Similac brands for her, and she wouldn't drink any of it. Something good to know though, that according to the FDA's website, "all infant formulas marketed in the US must meet federal nutrition requirements." So why waste $25-$35 on a can of formula that might last you a week or less when you can buy the Target brand for $15 a can, at least that's our thinking about it. Because we're broke and cheaper anything is better for us right now, plus, like I said, Penelope will actually drink it, and wouldn't drink the expensive brand named kinds. Oh darn!

Also, as most of us know, (well, at least the ones of us who are parents), we know that having babies is expensive, so trying to cut costs anywhere we can is important. We aren't giving her something not as good for her just because it's not name brand formula, and honestly I'm really ok with it. I breastfed her as long as my body would let me, which was about 5 1/2 months of her life. But I know that I gave her the best food available while I could. If I could have afforded to, I would have bought donated milk, but I personally couldn't afford to, and I'm ok with that, too.

So many options, mamas! But feel good about whatever choice you make for your child, and try not to feel shame about what you can or cannot give your baby. Do what you can and know that you're doing your best to your ability. Being a mother is hard enough without making ourselves feel worse about things like this, they're only little babies for so long and you need to enjoy that time, not beat yourself up about things that may or may not be in your control.

Just try to smile and enjoy your little one while they're still little!