Duckponds and Swingsets

Summer time is coming to a close. It's been fun, but I'm so ready for fall! Here's some of the great highlights from this summer:

It's been a great summer, with lots of sweet memories including Penny saying her first words, crawling, lots of long walks at the Mill Pond, feeding the duckies, napping, snuggles, messy baby kisses and hugs.

I'm a lucky mama.

A Family Picnic

This past week the weather here in Michigan has been sunny and warm! Summer has finally really arrived! As part of my 101 Things in 1001 Days, one of my things to do is to take Penny on a picnic. So we did!

We packed up the Focus and headed over to Kensington Metro Park (one of our favorite places on the planet) and found ourselves a cozy little spot to picnic by the water and boat launch.

Even Miss Penelope was happy to be outdoors and getting some fresh air! It was fabulous getting out of the house and enjoying nature a bit.

We brought some veggie sushi, veggie chips and chocolate cake for dessert.

Once we finished the sushi, we realized we forgot to bring forks for the cake! DOH!

It's a good thing I'm an expert chopstick user. I taught Jim how to do it.After lunch, we sat on the blanket under some trees and watched swans swimming in the lake. Penny also showed me how she does the chicken dance. (never mind the giant pole sticking out of the back of her head, silly flagpole in the way of the cute picture!)

All in all, it was a wonderful afternoon together. I can't wait to have more picnics this summer at Kensington!

Do you go on picnics? What are your favorite snacks to bring?

I promise I'm going to get better at this.

Hi there, I sure am cute, doncha think?

This monthly update thing is going to change, I swear it. I'm going to be better about blogging.

I feel like there's so much to talk about. My health, Penny, Easter, work, family, life. I don't even know where to start honestly.

This week we are house-sittings at my in-laws' home. I love being here. Their home is so inviting and cozy. It's perfect in the winter because it overlooks a pond out of the back window and there are trees everywhere that when they are covered with snow, well, it's so peaceful. In the summer, it's beautiful because everything is green. The pond is full of life and the wisteria that overhangs my mother-in-law's hammock is just heaven. At night you can hear the crickets chirping and it's so quiet. In the fall, the trees are an array of bold colors. It's just wonderful here. It's like, you can actually breath fresh air and relax. It's nice to have a little getaway from our everyday lives, even if it is just for a week.

My two favorite people

Penelope is 7 months old today. She's crawling now, and today she pulled herself up into a standing position. See how proud of herself she is?

It's all happening so fast!!! I need a slow-motion button. Everyday is something new with her. She's close to saying "mama" too. And she gives kisses now, only sometimes though. She'll grab your face with both hands and plant her open drooling mouth on your cheek. It's the best kind of kiss I know of.

Juuuuuuuuust doin' her morning pushups

It's finally really spring here in MI. This is the first week that it's going to be above 55 regularly and be sunny. April was RAIN RAIN RAIN and very cold. So it's nice to see the sun finally and some blue skies and flowers. Penny and I have been enjoying the sun when we can, she got to feel grass for the first time the other day, she liked it.

what's this green stuff?

being sock free feels awesome

feeling good

I'm excited for the summer to start too. I wanted to try to find a Mommy and Me swimming class for Penny and I, but all the ones I have found so far are ridiculously overpriced, so perhaps we'll find somewhere else to try swimming. Penny loves the bathtub so much, I think she'll really enjoy swimming. She mostly likes to just be naked, like this:

her little tushie is so cute!

Easter was nice. Spending time with family is always enjoyable. We had to postpone our Easter festivities with Hubby's family because Penny and I were suffering from a gnarly cold and we didn't want her adorable cousin Isabella to get it, and believe me, it was very contagious, everyone in our house got it. :(Here's Penny and Isabella about three weeks ago. They're two months apart.


Penny got this cute hat and these cute sunglasses in her Easter basket, along with bubbles and new toys. :-)

Even amidst a bad cold, Miss Penny is a smiley happy bubbly little lady. I adore her.

Little Miss is getting some curls in her hair, so it seems she'll be taking after her Daddy as far as hair goes. It's so cute!

Here's our April Family Photo:
We'll need to take a May one soon, that one was almost a month ago now!

As far as my health goes, I do indeed have what my neurologist thought, Multifocal Motor Neuropathy with Conduction Blocks. I start my IVIG (Intravenous Immunoglobulins) treatment on the 16th, so I've ordered a few books to read for the 30ish baby free hours I'll have on my hands. It still remains to be seen how often I'll need these IVIG treatments, possibly every few weeks, every few months, once a year, who knows. It all depends on my body and how stubborn it decides to be. I've been trying to do as much research as I can about it, but there's not much out there, because so few people have it. Which makes it scary, I wish I knew someone else who was dealing with this. Might make me feel a little less alone. I don't talk about it much to anyone because no one would understand. You can't really fathom what having constantly numb hands and feet is like, unless you have it.

But things are good. My insurance covers this incredibly expensive treatment and hopefully it'll do it's job and make me feel better. My fingers are crossed.

I'm going to post more. I promise.

busy

Well, I haven't updated much because I've been really busy. The Valentine's Day weekend was full of family and friends, and it was really great!

Jim's parents came to visit us Saturday and Sunday. They hung out with us during the day and we ate Chinese food for dinner (it was sooooo yummy) and then they watched Penny for a few hours and Jim and I went to the mall and walked around for awhile. It was nice to get out of the house, just the two of us.

Sunday morning they came over and Jim's mom made us an amazing breakfast casserole and french toast and fresh orange juice. It's always a treat to have Jim's mom cook for us, she definitely knows her way around the kitchen!

Then I had to work, so they headed home. So I worked and then my best friend Mikaela and her 3 year old son Sullivan came over for the night. I missed them so much and so I was really happy to have them here to visit. I made us dinner Sunday night (Basil Pesto Chicken and angel hair pasta = OMFG SO GOOD) and then Monday we went to the larger mall in town and spent a few hours hanging out and letting Sullivan play at the play place. It was a really nice way to spend the day together. I miss her so much!

Here are some of the best pics of the weekend:

Miss Penny has begun holding her bottle!

Penny having a sweet moment with Grandma.

Penny and her proud Grandparents!

Smiley girl with her Grandma!

Me and my best friend, Mikaela (this is now one of my favorite pics of us)

Sullivan sitting on a mushroom, I just love his face in this one!

Sullivan getting ready to JUMP!

Penny laughing it up with Aunt Mickey

Penny's got her Valentine's Day party headband on!

All in all, it was a fabulous weekend!

Penny has been a ton of fun lately. She's beginning to realize that she has a voice, her favorite thing to say, especially when upset about something is "um gee" and Jim and I just love it. We eat up all her cuteness. So far, 4 months has been my favorite age. She's sleeping through the night finally, and omg does she sleep! 10 hours usually! It's insane. I kinda feel like someone is going to jump out at me and say "haha! all that sleep wasn't real! this is all a dream!" My body doesn't really know what to do with all this sleep. I've been used to the 3-4 hours at a time, wake up, feed her, go back to bed for another 3-4 hours thing. Now I don't need to wake up? This is weird.

**Warning, this next few paragraphs is about breastfeeding (oooooh scary!)**

Lately my milk production hasn't been so great. Penny hasn't been very satisfied after a feeding (from both sides) and I've tried everything. Drinking more water, taking fenugreek, pumping more too, etc...Nothing has helped. I think my boobs have just kind of had it. Which kills me, but at the same time, I've been worried about Penny's growth.

The doc wasn't worried that she only gained 8 oz from the end of December til now, but I am. She was growing like a weed until now! I just worry that not only was she not getting enough, but that I'm to blame for her not growing properly. Her pediatrician just said, we'll see how it goes at 6 months, then we'll see if we need to do anything about it and that some babies are just tiny. Well, part of me thinks that that whole conversation made my milk stop working so I'd have to get her formula, and sure enough, we did. I gotta make sure she's getting enough food, ya know? She's not the type of baby to cry when she's hungry, unless she's STARVING, but if she's got a little bit in her belly, she's content. So I never knew she wasn't really getting enough. But when I make her a 6-7 oz formula bottle, she guzzles it down.

UGH. I feel a bit like a failure. I wanted to breastfeed for a long time, and I still do, just not for every feeding. Usually just a couple times a day now. I'm going to at least do that as long as my body will let me.

Anyways, here are some cute pics. :-)

OUCH

This past weekend, I had one of those mom moments where you stop and think "I'm the worst mother on the whole dang planet. PERIOD!" We went to my hometown this weekend and stayed with my folks because we had a funeral to go to. Hubby's great grandmother passed away, she was 94 years old!

Back to the story...

I was at my parents' house, and I was carrying Penny (she was facing out because she loves watching EVERYTHING now) and I was walking down the stairs when on the 2nd to last step, my sock slipped and BAM, down we went. She immediately started screaming and so of course I'm flipping out thinking she cracked her head or twisted something or broke something! I calmed her down and tried to see if there was any damage. Sure enough, she has a rugburn on her little forehead. THANK GOODNESS I was carrying her the way I was, my arm took the blunt of the stairs for her. I can't imagine what would've happened if I was carrying her facing backwards over my shoulder, I don't even want to think about it.

So needless to say, I feel terrible. I feel so unbelievably awful. My poor little girl got hurt because of a stupid accident, but I can't help but blame myself. I shouldn't have gone on the stairs, I should have paid more attention, I should have done SOMETHING ELSE! I know this is irrational. It was an accident. But as a mother, I am wholly responsible for everything that happens to my little girl, and that should NOT have happened!

You can see her rug burn here, but she's still her normal happy lovely little self. But I hate seeing it, just a reminder of how awful I feel!!!

I hope that thing heals soon. I hate seeing her sweet little face with that on it!

So yeah, this weekend we were back at home for the funeral of Hubby's great grandmother (So, Penny's GREAT GREAT GRANDMA!). She was a lovely woman who cared so deeply about her family. She had 4 children, 20+ grandkids/stepgrandkids, 20+ great grandkids/great stepgrandkids, and 2 great great granddaughters (Penny and her cousin Izzy). She led a very full and long life, passing away at the incredible age of 94. Here are some shots of her at our wedding:

This is one of my favorite pics from the entire wedding, you can just see how happy she is to be there and so happy for us. We were honored that the matriarch of the family was there to support us.

Us with Great Grandma N

She will be greatly missed.

R.I.P. G.N. 1916-2011

So as of late, I've been dealing with what I can only think is PPD. Mood swings, general irritability, unexplained crying, sadness, etc...Absolutely nothing like thinking about harming myself or Penny or anything terrible like that, no way, but I just know that I'm not myself. Tomorrow I plan on contacting a doctor about it and hopefully getting some help. I'm hoping to avoid medication as I'm breastfeeding and I love doing it and do not want to stop at all. I will not give that up, I will do everything in my power to fix myself and feed my baby with my breast milk. I've used therapy before, and if needed, that is what I'll do for this. I'm hoping a doctor will work with me through this. Jim, Penny don't deserve to have a wife/mother who isn't herself. I don't deserve to go through each day not feeling like myself. So, I'm going to fix this. I'm going to take the steps necessary to fix this, to fix me.

Ok, enough of that, here are some shots of the beautiful little girl I get the privilege to spend my days with:

Twenty thousand and ten

So many of the blogs that I read have been doing "a year in review" sort of post lately. So I thought I might do one too.

This time last year, I was working for a great bookstore, and was getting ready to ring in the New Year with some of our Texan friends. Little did I know, that soon I would be pregnant with our first child and sick with the flu.

Now, going through the following images to try to find some for each month, I realized that I did a crap job of keeping my photos organized on my computer, so some of these pics kind of suck. So that's resolution numero uno: get better at organizing photos on my computer! Quit being lazy about it! Ok, so here we go!

January

I created these paintings because I was so pissed that Texas has a lack of seasonal change. There's the godawful heat and humidity March through November, and then December through February is just chilly rainy garbage, so I wanted to create something I felt represented the seasons. Also, the Keep Calm and Carry On was something I've seen lots of places and I didn't want to pay someone else for since I could just make it myself, so I did. I thought it was a nice thing to remember during stressful days.

February
This was huge. We found out that I was pregnant with what would soon be our little Penelope Mae. It was an emotional time and we were so excited to finally be expecting our little one. I actually took three tests, but for some reason only took a picture of the two. Not really sure why...oh and just in case you were thinking it, yep, I sure did pee on those. Haha

March
We decided to go to Galveston, TX one day since we were so close to the ocean and hadn't actually gone to see it yet. It was a fun day and it was a pretty enjoyable 65 degree day. We collected a lot of shells on the beach and walked for awhile. We had fun discussing our little one in my belly and taking pictures. Here's Jim forcing a smile for me.

April
April in Texas is Bluebonnet season. So a coworker took me to an orchard so I could see them. We got there and there were none. Slight disappointment but we ended up seeing a small patch of them on the side of the road on the way home so we stopped and got a few shots. They were pretty.

May
This month was a big deal because we finally got to have our big ultrasound and found out that we were having a little girl! We were so excited and happy at the news. Just a month before this, we were taking my 15 week photos and we saw a ladybug on Jim's car, and I said, "It's an omen, we're having a girl," and low and behold, I was right!

June
In June, we got to go to Michigan and visit our families and friends. It was a much needed vacation from TX and we were so glad to be home. This trip solidified for us our love for MI and how much we wanted to raise our family there. This photo is of us in front of the Big Boy restaurant we met at when I was 17.

July

We had our baby showers and I kept getting bigger and bigger. I felt so wonderful while we were there. The second trimester was super enjoyable and I felt awesome. It was sad though when we had to make the 2 day trip back down to TX, we were both pretty distraught.


August
August was uneventful for us. We did a lot of working and setting up Penny's side of our room. I love this picture because it captured my big super round belly and my motherly feelings. I felt so beautiful and ready to meet my little girl. I chose the crescent moon shape because I thought it looked kind of like my tummy. :-)
September This picture was taken on my 26th birthday. I bought this super cute dress just for my weekly photo, and I don't think it'll fit me again until I'm that pregnant again someday. We spent my birthday watching movies and had a home cooked spaghetti dinner and had cream puffs with chocolate sauce for dessert! SO good! These were the last few weeks before Penelope arrived, so we tried to spend as much time together as we could, just enjoying our last moments as just the two of us.

October
October was one of the best months of my life. On October 7th, 2010, we met our baby girl, Penelope Mae! If you want to read the birth story, go here. I love this picture that the nurse captured for us. She got a lot of great shots for us and I can't thank her enough for that. The whole experience was magical. I can't wait to do it all over again! ;-)

November
November was a huge month for change. We moved back to Michigan from Texas and Hubby moved in with my brother so he could work and I stayed with my parents for 6 weeks until we could afford a new apartment. Lots of change but all SO good! This was taken at Thanksgiving with Jim's family.



December
December was a great month for us. We finally got to move into our new home and spent the holidays with our families, which was perfect because last year we didn't get to spend it with them. Penelope hit the 12 week mark and I can't believe how big she is already! She's growing so fast and as of this week is 12 lbs. 2 oz. Almost doubling her birth weight! She did have her first ear infection though, of which she's still trying to get better from. I just hate seeing my little girl so congested! Anyways, this is one of my favorite pictures of Penelope so far. She's so lovely, and we just adore her.

Overall though, 2010 was a good year. We learned so much about ourselves, I learned just how much pressure and pain I can really handle, and we brought an inspiring, gorgeous, vivacious, talkative, giggly, smiley, happy little girl into the world. We are very lucky to be where we're at in our lives. We are so grateful.

Resolutions are funny things, people promising to do things in their lives that they probably won't really do, or at least won't do for long. So my list isn't a bunch of resolutions, it's a bunch of things I hope that I'll get to do this next year, most of which will involve Penny.

• Take Penny to the zoo for the first time. I'm so looking forward to doing this in the summer time. Jim and I love going to the zoo and have gone just about every year since we've been together I think, so I'm so excited to make Penny a part of this tradition!
• Take LOTS AND LOTS of pictures of Penny. I want to record her life as much as I can. I want to be able to look back on these moments in time and see how she's grown and changed. I'd *really* love a new camera though...
• I want to keep up on my reading. Since Penny's been born, I haven't read anything, unless it's online. But no books, no magazines, nothing. This is terrible! I'm hoping that as she gets a little older and sleeps more consistently, that I can plan some time each day to spend diving into a good book! Got any good suggestions for me?
• Clever Characters. Most of you probably know about my little side business, you know, the one where I design and paint kids names onto canvas for a reasonable price? Check it out here if you wanna see what I can do. I'm looking forward to ending my hiatus (I took a few months off after Penny was born because well, newborns keep ya busy) and looking forward to redesigning the website and getting better at what I do.
  
• Cooking. Since I'm now an official Stay-At-Home-Mama, I want to learn to cook more than pasta and pizza. And I want to learn how to enjoy it. Right now, I'll cook something if it's reasonably easy and doesn't involve all kinds of measuring and temperature changes and whatever else. I want to expand my mind and my abilities, so I'm hoping I can try to learn to enjoy cooking this year. If I can't, oh well, we'll just eat pizza and pasta, and sometimes chicken or something. Haha

Let's hope 2011 bring even more love and happiness to us! And same to all of you, my few readers! I wish you all the very best this new year! Maybe I'll try to update more! Who knows!?

***For the record, I couldn't figure out how to fix the sizing on this post, which is why it's all over the damn place. Sorry!***