Twenty thousand and ten

So many of the blogs that I read have been doing "a year in review" sort of post lately. So I thought I might do one too.

This time last year, I was working for a great bookstore, and was getting ready to ring in the New Year with some of our Texan friends. Little did I know, that soon I would be pregnant with our first child and sick with the flu.

Now, going through the following images to try to find some for each month, I realized that I did a crap job of keeping my photos organized on my computer, so some of these pics kind of suck. So that's resolution numero uno: get better at organizing photos on my computer! Quit being lazy about it! Ok, so here we go!

January

I created these paintings because I was so pissed that Texas has a lack of seasonal change. There's the godawful heat and humidity March through November, and then December through February is just chilly rainy garbage, so I wanted to create something I felt represented the seasons. Also, the Keep Calm and Carry On was something I've seen lots of places and I didn't want to pay someone else for since I could just make it myself, so I did. I thought it was a nice thing to remember during stressful days.

February
This was huge. We found out that I was pregnant with what would soon be our little Penelope Mae. It was an emotional time and we were so excited to finally be expecting our little one. I actually took three tests, but for some reason only took a picture of the two. Not really sure why...oh and just in case you were thinking it, yep, I sure did pee on those. Haha

March
We decided to go to Galveston, TX one day since we were so close to the ocean and hadn't actually gone to see it yet. It was a fun day and it was a pretty enjoyable 65 degree day. We collected a lot of shells on the beach and walked for awhile. We had fun discussing our little one in my belly and taking pictures. Here's Jim forcing a smile for me.

April
April in Texas is Bluebonnet season. So a coworker took me to an orchard so I could see them. We got there and there were none. Slight disappointment but we ended up seeing a small patch of them on the side of the road on the way home so we stopped and got a few shots. They were pretty.

May
This month was a big deal because we finally got to have our big ultrasound and found out that we were having a little girl! We were so excited and happy at the news. Just a month before this, we were taking my 15 week photos and we saw a ladybug on Jim's car, and I said, "It's an omen, we're having a girl," and low and behold, I was right!

June
In June, we got to go to Michigan and visit our families and friends. It was a much needed vacation from TX and we were so glad to be home. This trip solidified for us our love for MI and how much we wanted to raise our family there. This photo is of us in front of the Big Boy restaurant we met at when I was 17.

July

We had our baby showers and I kept getting bigger and bigger. I felt so wonderful while we were there. The second trimester was super enjoyable and I felt awesome. It was sad though when we had to make the 2 day trip back down to TX, we were both pretty distraught.


August
August was uneventful for us. We did a lot of working and setting up Penny's side of our room. I love this picture because it captured my big super round belly and my motherly feelings. I felt so beautiful and ready to meet my little girl. I chose the crescent moon shape because I thought it looked kind of like my tummy. :-)
September This picture was taken on my 26th birthday. I bought this super cute dress just for my weekly photo, and I don't think it'll fit me again until I'm that pregnant again someday. We spent my birthday watching movies and had a home cooked spaghetti dinner and had cream puffs with chocolate sauce for dessert! SO good! These were the last few weeks before Penelope arrived, so we tried to spend as much time together as we could, just enjoying our last moments as just the two of us.

October
October was one of the best months of my life. On October 7th, 2010, we met our baby girl, Penelope Mae! If you want to read the birth story, go here. I love this picture that the nurse captured for us. She got a lot of great shots for us and I can't thank her enough for that. The whole experience was magical. I can't wait to do it all over again! ;-)

November
November was a huge month for change. We moved back to Michigan from Texas and Hubby moved in with my brother so he could work and I stayed with my parents for 6 weeks until we could afford a new apartment. Lots of change but all SO good! This was taken at Thanksgiving with Jim's family.



December
December was a great month for us. We finally got to move into our new home and spent the holidays with our families, which was perfect because last year we didn't get to spend it with them. Penelope hit the 12 week mark and I can't believe how big she is already! She's growing so fast and as of this week is 12 lbs. 2 oz. Almost doubling her birth weight! She did have her first ear infection though, of which she's still trying to get better from. I just hate seeing my little girl so congested! Anyways, this is one of my favorite pictures of Penelope so far. She's so lovely, and we just adore her.

Overall though, 2010 was a good year. We learned so much about ourselves, I learned just how much pressure and pain I can really handle, and we brought an inspiring, gorgeous, vivacious, talkative, giggly, smiley, happy little girl into the world. We are very lucky to be where we're at in our lives. We are so grateful.

Resolutions are funny things, people promising to do things in their lives that they probably won't really do, or at least won't do for long. So my list isn't a bunch of resolutions, it's a bunch of things I hope that I'll get to do this next year, most of which will involve Penny.

• Take Penny to the zoo for the first time. I'm so looking forward to doing this in the summer time. Jim and I love going to the zoo and have gone just about every year since we've been together I think, so I'm so excited to make Penny a part of this tradition!
• Take LOTS AND LOTS of pictures of Penny. I want to record her life as much as I can. I want to be able to look back on these moments in time and see how she's grown and changed. I'd *really* love a new camera though...
• I want to keep up on my reading. Since Penny's been born, I haven't read anything, unless it's online. But no books, no magazines, nothing. This is terrible! I'm hoping that as she gets a little older and sleeps more consistently, that I can plan some time each day to spend diving into a good book! Got any good suggestions for me?
• Clever Characters. Most of you probably know about my little side business, you know, the one where I design and paint kids names onto canvas for a reasonable price? Check it out here if you wanna see what I can do. I'm looking forward to ending my hiatus (I took a few months off after Penny was born because well, newborns keep ya busy) and looking forward to redesigning the website and getting better at what I do.
  
• Cooking. Since I'm now an official Stay-At-Home-Mama, I want to learn to cook more than pasta and pizza. And I want to learn how to enjoy it. Right now, I'll cook something if it's reasonably easy and doesn't involve all kinds of measuring and temperature changes and whatever else. I want to expand my mind and my abilities, so I'm hoping I can try to learn to enjoy cooking this year. If I can't, oh well, we'll just eat pizza and pasta, and sometimes chicken or something. Haha

Let's hope 2011 bring even more love and happiness to us! And same to all of you, my few readers! I wish you all the very best this new year! Maybe I'll try to update more! Who knows!?

***For the record, I couldn't figure out how to fix the sizing on this post, which is why it's all over the damn place. Sorry!***

10 weeks

Penelope is 10 weeks old today.

I love her.

WOW

So the past 6 weeks have FLOWN by. I can't even believe that

Penelope is already 6 weeks old.

Being a mama has been incredible in many ways. Incredibly great and incredibly stressful at times. I really didn't think I was going to survive those first few weeks; those weeks when Penelope would scream for hours on end and I had no idea how to help her, those weeks when we had to scrape for money to buy diapers and wipes instead of food for us, those weeks when I didn't sleep for more than an hour or two at a time because she was cluster feeding, those weeks that I didn't have a breast pump, those weeks when we worried about how bills would get paid when only Hubby would be going back to work, those weeks when I didn't shower for a few days in a row and felt terrible from the after-labor period. I really thought we wouldn't survive it, but miraculously we did! And we're going STRONG!

Penelope is thriving and growing like a weed. The power of breast milk blows me away! I always knew that I wanted to breastfeed my baby, from the moment I found out I was pregnant I knew that I wanted to give my baby the very best I could give her, and breast milk is it! That first doctor's appointment when my doctor told me that Penelope was doing great on my breast milk made me so happy. I was over the moon that she was doing so well and that we were succeeding with breastfeeding since I felt kind of like I wasn't doing it right and that I must be screwing something up, but NO! Penelope is doing great and growing so fast, almost too fast!

Just look that those blue eyes!

A lot has happened since Penelope's birth, and the main thing is this: WE'VE MOVED BACK TO MICHIGAN!!! Hubby got a great job and so we packed everything up and headed back home to MI, and we could not be happier about it! It was Penelope's first car ride longer than 30 minutes, so needless to say, we were a bit worried about how well she'd do in the car that long (3 DAYS, holy crap) Well, she did pretty darn good! She slept about 80% of the time,
and didn't make me want to pull my hair out! (well, except those few times I had to change her poopy diapers in the back of our cramped and packed to the brim Focus!) She only had one meltdown on the last day,
and it was a short one, she just had to get out of that dang car seat, and honestly, I do not blame her! Those things seem so terribly uncomfortable.

Rupert did great in the car too, except when Hubby had to get out of the car (to get gas/food/etc...), then he was all "Where's he going, why can't I go too?"

So we've been in MI for a few days now, and I gotta tell you, it's so good to be home. In some ways I feel really spoiled now because since we're staying with my folks for a few weeks, it's like, there's HELP available now. I'm so used to doing everything myself, and with Hubby's help, but now I've got Grandma and Grandpa too! I feel so lucky to have this help, I know many folks don't have the help they need, and a new baby is a crap ton of work! How single moms do this, I have no idea, but damn ladies, I admire you so very very much. It takes a lot of strength to do this mama gig, and to do it without support, wow. just wow.

Here's a few more cute pics of Penelope:

Breastfeeding has been going well. The 3 day road trip kind of screwed my stash I had going, I was about 10 or so feedings ahead of Penny, and now I'm just feeding on demand with no stash to back me up. So it's been stressful lately, but I made it to my first goal of 6 weeks! I'm so proud of myself, breastfeeding isn't a walk in the park, especially at first, but we've kind of gotten into a groove and it feels good to know that I'm giving Penny the best that I can give her! My next goal is 6 months! Wish me luck!

Right now, Hubby has started his new job, and it's on the other side of the state, so he's staying with my brother for now, and I'm with my folks. So I won't lie, it's been rough without him here, but he's laying the foundation for our lives, for our future, so I'm doing what I can and trying to keep busy. But I'm missing him like crazy! We'll see each other on weekends, but I hope we can be reunited for good soon! I'm so proud of him and feel so happy that he's found a job that will challenge him. He takes such good care of us, I'm a lucky woman.

I've recently found out that 5 of my friends are pregnant and are due in March, April, and May! I'm so excited for these ladies and their families! I honestly miss being pregnant and am so stoked that these gals are expanding their lives (and their bellies!) and bringing more beautiful babies into the world. I think I'll be busy painting for them next spring! :)

I promise I will try to update this thing more! I'm planning a new design and possibly a blog name change since I'm no longer residing in TX...we'll see though, that might be too big of a pain.

Penelope Mae's Birth Story

On Thursday, October 7, 2010, at 4:30 a.m., I began to have contractions. They started slowly, at about 10 minutes apart, and weren’t bad at all, just noticeable. I tried to sleep some more because I figured they were just Braxton Hicks contractions. When they didn’t let up, I got excited and couldn’t sleep. I thought, “Maybe today’s the day!” I laid in bed until about 5:30 a.m. when I couldn’t sit still any longer.

I got up, tried to walk around a little bit, see if they got more intense. I decided to bake some pumpkin bread for my midwives as a little thank you in case today was the day. Jim got up and asked if I was ok, and I told him that I was having contractions that were kind of regular. He went back to sleep for a bit. I couldn’t sleep so I played around on the internet and tried to relax as much as I could. I kept timing the contractions for the next few hours and called my midwife, Janet, at around 8am. She said to keep track of them, try to rest, drink lots of water, and eat something if I can.

I ate some breakfast, relaxed some more, and decided to take a shower at about 9:45am. The shower stalled my contractions completely. I was very upset by this. I was hoping that today was the day! I decided to go back to bed to sleep since they were gone, and I slept from about 10am until about 1:30 p.m. After I got up, the contractions slowly started to come back.

From 2pm-3pm, they got gradually more intense. I ate some more food and called my midwife again. She said to keep an eye on things and let her know if my water broke or if I lost my mucous plug. Right around 3pm, I did lose my mucous plug, and then my contractions got more intense. I had to really focus on breathing through them. I knew things were really moving now, so I told Jim to work on getting the car packed up and ready to go. By 4pm, I called Janet and told her we were coming in.

The car ride to Reunion Birthing Center is about 45 minutes. It was really hard being in the car through the contractions, which were now about 3 minutes apart and lasting for a minute-minute and a half. I was used to being able to move through them, using my hips to sway, so being confined in the car was difficult. But we eventually made it there.

Janet was there waiting for us, and had the room set up. We got in and I changed into my gown I got to labor in. She had me lay down on the bed to check my dilation. I was shocked when she told me I was already at 8-9 centimeters! I couldn’t believe I had already made it that far!

Things progressively got more intense and I used the bed to lean against during contractions while Jim massaged my back with oil. He really helped me get through those contractions. I was beginning to be in a lot of pain so Janet had me sit down on the toilet to work on moving Penny down the birth canal. While I was on the toilet, Polly, the other midwife and Sarah, the nurse assistant, both arrived and Polly seemed to take over.

Polly helped me breathe through the contractions, helping to keep me focused and coherent. I was really fighting the contractions, which I couldn’t seem to help, and I was hyperventilating a little bit. Jim kept me calm by rubbing my back, holding my hand through the contractions, and keeping a cool cloth on my face at all times. I wouldn’t have made it through it without him.

Polly decided to check me for dilation and let me know that she thought things would happen even faster if I let her break my bag of waters. So we moved over to the bed briefly and she broke my bag of waters. The pressure to push started almost immediately. They suggested that I try a birthing chair or a birthing ball to work on getting Penny down even more, and I couldn’t sit on them for a second. Jim and I “danced” for a few minutes, with him supporting me through the contractions. The urge to push overtook me, and it hurt so badly that I was shaking and wanted to cry.

We moved me back over to the toilet since I seemed to be the most comfortable there. I pushed there for a few contractions and Polly checked me once more, and insisted that I move back to the bed because it was almost time to meet Penelope.

I got back in bed, and pushed as hard as I could through each contraction. It was more pain than I’ve ever felt in my life, but I knew that each contraction was bringing Penny closer to us.

Once Penny started crowning, I began to understand just how intense the “ring of fire” truly is. Forcing myself to push through that pain was the hardest part of all of it. Jim got to feel her head and helped to catch her as she came out. He helped Polly place her on my chest and she started crying immediately. She also peed all over me and on Polly’s hands; which I thought was really funny because I did the same thing when I was born.

Jim and I were so overwhelmed with emotion and love; we couldn’t believe our baby girl was here! She was perfect and had no complications at all. She weighed in at 6 lbs. 15 oz. and was 20 inches long. She arrived at 7:19 p.m., just two short hours after arriving at the birthing center.

It was such an amazing experience overall. I’m so glad that I opted to go with two nurse midwives at a free-standing birthing center, and completed my birth with no medications whatsoever. I’ve never been more proud of myself. I think that because of my frame of mind, and all the mental preparation I did prior to the birth itself, that it made my labor/delivery that much easier. Just trusting my body to do what it’s meant to do. I’m so grateful to the ladies at Reunion Birthing Center, Polly Logan and Janet Little, and to my husband, Jim, for helping me get through one of the most painful but amazing days of my life.

a moment of clarity

So tonight I had a moment of clarity.

Let me explain.

For the past 9 months, I've been thinking and over-thinking and rethinking my upcoming labor/delivery (only 4ish weeks away!) I've been fearing it and stressing out about it, which I know is the worst thing a woman can do in preparation for her natural, medication-free birthing experience. I know it's going to hurt, DUH, but I was terrified as to how I'll handle it.

Tonight, before bed, Hubby and I were going through our bag that's partially packed for when it's GO TIME! I was folding up one of the three outfits we're packing for Penelope to bring her home in (since we don't know just how big or how small she'll be) and I had this moment, where everything in my mind felt right.

All the fear I had in my heart was gone. All I could think about was that in a few short weeks, Penelope will be in one of those outfits, on her way home with us. I realized that no matter how much pain I go through, that in the end, Penelope will be here safe and sound and that it was all worth it.

A few hours of my life in pain will not compare to the amazing amounts of happiness that Penelope will bring to us. And that, is exactly why I'm going to be OK, why this labor and delivery will be successful and beautiful.

Now I can't wait to meet her. I'm so ready for this pregnancy to come to its close and for our little ladybug to be here.
Hubby and I talk daily about her and how awesome it's going to be to be parents, HER parents.
How ready we are.
How excited we are.
The things we're worried about, but mostly, we talk about the things we can't wait to do, can't wait to experience with Penelope.
The places we want to take her.
The things we want to show her that we love and hope she does too.
The people who she has waiting for her here on the outside who already love her so much and cannot wait to share that love with her.
How we can't wait to take pictures of all of her firsts, her facial expressions, and her explorations of the outside world.


There's so much we can't wait for.

It's been awhile

The past two months have flown by. I feel like an awful blogger for not updating more often!

Ok, here are the updates:

I'm still very pregnant, 31 weeks and 2 days to be exact. October is getting closer and closer every day and it's scary and amazing to think that our baby girl will be here within the next two months or so! We've been doing so much to prepare for her arrival. From washing her tiny clothes to setting up her part of our bedroom and all her little things like her bouncy seat and stroller. Everything's becoming so real now!

Her little kicks and jabs have become sort of painful, but that just means she's a tough cookie, like her mama, so I'm ok with that. She's in the proper position so far (head down, feet up in my ribs) so that's great news. Let's hope she stays that way! From what I hear trying to move your baby into the right position if they're not already is kind of painful, so I don't want to do that. haha.

I'll be updating the Pregnancy Journey photos section today as well, so check that out. If you're on my facebook you can see them there as well.

The Clever Characters business has been going really well all summer. I just wish I could paint faster! I've had about 12 paintings in the last two months to do and I've only finished like, 3 of them. Partly due to the fact that we went to Michigan for about 3 weeks, but also due to the face that the third trimester of this pregnancy hit me like a mack truck and I've been exhausted!

I will finish them though before Penelope arrives. I WILL! I plan on taking a little hiatus from it once I finish the ones I have on my list currently, just so I can relax a bit and work on preparing myself for labor/delivery in early October. Then of course, once Penelope gets here, we'll be very busy taking care of her and giving her all of the love in the world, so painting won't be at the top of my list. I'm not sure how long the haitus will last, but it'll probably be through the holiday season.

Hubby's been working on redesigning the Clever Characters website, which you can see here. No changes have been made yet, but once the new site is up, I'll be sure to let you all know!

Hubby's also been working very hard on his mom's website for her organic skin care business, which you should check out here. She recently changed her name to Common Spirit Organics, so the website will be changing soon as well. Her products are awesome and all of you should check it out and buy some. I personally love the Sweet Pea Belly Butter (for my big ol' preggo belly) and also the A Day for Miracles Eye Cream. It makes your face feel awesome, seriously. Here's her in front of the Ann Arbor People's Food Co-Op, the first store in Michigan to sell her merchandise!

ALSO, Hubby's working on getting his web design company off and running. If you know anyone interested in a website, my Hubby is the man to get ahold of. If you need his contact info, just let me know and I'll get it to you. He's really awesome at it and loves doing it, so get at me if you're interested.

In late June, early July, we went up to Michigan to visit our wonderful families/friends! It was a much needed break from Texas and we feel so lucky and grateful that we got to go up for almost 3 weeks! While we were there, we saw just about all of our friends, spent lots of time with our families, had two baby showers, I got maternity pictures taken, and I did a photo shoot for a Zombie Pinups calendar that should be coming out in October. I was the Pregnant Labor Day Zombie, so Miss September. It was so fun!

It was a really fun shoot, needless to say. :-) Here are some shots from the maternity shoot we did:





Here are more pics from the trip:

Here's a sunset in my hometown, it was sooooo good to be there.


Here's my nephew, Sullivan, being adorable. We were fishing on their dock.



We also watched him for a few hours one afternoon, these are a few of my favorite shots:



Here's my gorgeous goddaughter, Ava, smiling for the camera:



Here's Hubby and I, in front of the restaurant we met at over 7 years ago.


Here's Hubby and I, enjoying being home:


Here are a few shots from the two amazing baby showers our families threw for us:












All in all, our trip was FANTASTIC. I'll try to update soon again!